I get a lot of emails and follow lots of Facebook pages that talk about increasing self esteem and a lot of them talk about having a mantra. Saying a one line over and over throughout the day to increase whatever you’re trying to increase or do. So I thought I’d google a few to see what I could come up with – what I would personally believe. I have tried to do mantra’s before – but never really worked, always felt worse. Then I cam across this….
From the She Knows website…
Choose a mantra you believe in
If you choose a mantra you don’t buy into, you may be doing yourself more harm than good. According to a 2009 study published in the journal Psychological Science, individuals with low self-esteem who repeated the mantra “I am a lovable person” over and over again actually felt worse, while those who had high self-esteem to begin with felt slightly better.
Justin Young, a nationally recognized motivational school speaker and founder of the Pink Shoe Hero Foundation, says this study meshes with his own personal experience. “If a person believes they are not lovable, then saying ‘I am a lovable person’ will only intensify the feelings that they are ‘inappropriate to life’ — because they’re lying to themselves. What they are repeating is not in harmony with who they believe themselves to be. This creates a dissonance, which makes them feel worse than they already do.”
Young says, “True self-esteem can only be built through action — by doing things which prove to yourself that ‘you’re good enough, smart enough and, doggone it, people like you.'”
Regardless of whether you have high or low self-esteem, Young says, “the first step of building self-esteem and resiliency is self-acceptance. So the first mantra mastered by everyone shouldn’t be ‘I am this’ or ‘I am that.’ It should be ‘I am me.'”
That’s the way I feel! I always feel obliged to get onto some sort of healthy bandwagon – whether it be healthy eating or a healthy mind. I have tried numerous different apps to ’empower’ myself with daily cards and readings. Nothing works. They all sound sappy and untrue to me. I always feel worse because I think “I’m sure these things help other people – so why don’t they help me?” Reading this article above, it hit home. If I don’t believe it – then saying it over and over isn’t going to make me feel better about myself.
I need to find something that’s going to make me feel ‘normal’ (sorry terrible word but you get the drift). Right now I don’t want to feel euphoric, I don’t even want to feel all empowered and amazing. I just want to feel healthy, have normal thoughts and feel like I’m doing the right thing for me.
Looking in the mirror I don’t see a healthy person. In fact I see the opposite. Someone who has abused their body and is very sad. So that makes me feel sad daily. So I try not to look in the mirror. Though in saying that, I won’t go out of the house unless I have brushed my hair and applied a bit of makeup. So that’s a good start right? I guess if I was walking out of the house without doing my hair and makeup then I’d be a right mess. So there’s a positive right there I can use.
So this came to mind…
Mantra: I do care about myself.
As I write this blog, I think of all the things going through my head and sometimes I don’t know how to write them – or really even construct them so they’re readable. I have written a few posts already that really went no where – so I deleted them. I feel just by writing this post I’m coming up with new ideas and a direction for my thoughts.
Mantra: I may not care for the old me, but I’m doing a great job creating a new me.
If you find that Mantra’s aren’t you thing – or you’re terrible at remembering – take some time and maybe even write a letter to yourself or just write down your thoughts. Perhaps some ideas for your own one liners will come to you. Set an alarm on your phone or computer to pop up every now and then, like you’re actually telling yourself these things. Make them believable, make them real. Make them so you look at them and feel good. Not worse.
Here’s a few more I’ve pinched and come up with myself – feel free to pinch them too!
I really like the new me.
I’m the only person who can look after me from the inside.
I am redefining what it means to trust.
I am capable of making healthy choices.
I am glad I’ve made healthy choices today.
Looking back, yesterday wasn’t hard – so tomorrow will be easier.
I can learn from my failures.
I have survived the past, I can achieve in the future.
I am the only “sign” I need.
I am in control of my thoughts.
I recognize that my past does not have to define me.
I love my friends so when I look after me, I will look after them too.
I am a badass.
(ok I stole that last one and a few others, made me laugh though! – read the rest, they’re pretty cool – http://www.rootsofshe.com/mantras-for-empowerment/ ) Awesome blog.
Have an awesome day and fabulous weekend.